my heart speaks

what do you do when you think you know something and then find out it's not what you thought it was?

what do you do when life throws you what feels like the biggest curviest ball ever?

what do you do when you feel so much hopelessness?

what do you do when you feel so much uncertainty?

what do you do when you question the past, present and future?

what do you do when life feels like the biggest disappointment?


I pray.

for a miracle.

Doing THIS!

THIS is the reason why I started running. I am training for Vancouver's Bank of Montreal Half Marathon, which will be on May 5. Only 3 months away!!!

I don't know what made me do this but I'm doing it whether I like it or not because I've already signed up and there's no backing out coz.... well, there's no refund! & I really hate seeing money go to waste & it also wasn't cheap to sign up. I guess this is a good thing coz it's forcing me to train for it. I've already pictured myself being last & I really really don't want that so I'm pushing myself to go to the gym and run like I've never ran before. Coz really before signing up for this, I've never really ran on a regular basis. Day 1 of training was horrible! I couldn't even run 5 minutes straight! I was in the worst shape EVER! But it's been a few weeks of training now and I can run 30 minutes straight without stopping! Can I please get a woooohooo?

I've only trained/ran on a treadmill and people have told me that I should really run outside coz it's different. I do plan on doing that in March & I'm really hoping the weather gets better by then. For now, my goal for this month is to run 30 minutes without stopping and I may increase the time or distance each week if I feel I can push myself (& I usually do @ least once a week)

Before I started training, hubs suggested I run on an incline. It's to prepare me for when I run outside. So I've been running on an incline of 2 since day 1. I really don't know what the numbers on the treadmill mean. All I know is I run on a Cybex machine at speed 4.5 & incline of 2. The machine also tells me that I run a total distance of about 2.5 in 30 minutes. I don't know if that's in miles or kilometres. I've been assuming it's in miles. If you can tell me what any of these means, please do. I'm just hoping it'll prepare me for my race come May 5.

I should mention that I'm running this race with my sisters. That's one of the reasons why I'm doing this. One of my sisters, Miss S* ran this race last year and she decided to do it again with us newbies. My other sister, Miss F* & I have been texting each other, sharing how our training went - good and bad so we can motivate each other. It's been super helpful so far. I'm glad I'm not doing this alone and that my sisters and I have each other for encouragement and support. Hubs has also been supportive with my training and encourages me to push myself when I can.

Another reason why I signed up is because I really want to be more active and stay active by exercising regularly. Last year, exercising was an on/off thing. I'd start but I couldn't keep myself going after making a goal of doing it for 4 weeks. I always fell off the wagon. Training for this race is making me go to the gym regularly until at least the race, which since I started will make it a total of 16 weeks. That's assuming, I don't get sick or injure myself while training (knock on wood). That's more than I've ever done in my entire lifetime! I'm hoping by the end of the race, it'll become a habit that I'd want to keep going and going and crave the feeling of exercise that it will be part of my lifestyle. That would be pretty awesome! For now, I'm taking it one day at a time, trying to enjoy each training session and hopefully I'll learn to love running.

Running & finishing this race is going to be 

A HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT!! 

Weekly Currents 4.0

This week was a bit on the rough side.

I ate like garbage since Monday! But it was a rough week so I wasn't so hard on myself. Planning to get back to healthy eating again on Monday.

My sister and mom are finally home safe from the Philippines. My mom was away for two months and my sister was away for 5 weeks. So happy they're home now. My dad's retired so he stayed behind but he'll be back home soon. We miss him alot!

Started doing crossword puzzles and I'm kind of enjoying it. I'm terrible at it but maybe eventually I'll get better.

I found out blogshop is coming to Vancouver in April! I really want to sign up but the only thing that's keeping me from doing so is there's a conflict on the Sunday they're here. Just for the first couple hours though. What do I do?

I think I may be officially a tea drinker (is that what you call it?) I've been drinking tea everyday, every morning and before bed & I love it! So far, green tea is my go-to flavour. I've tried a couple different flavours from David's Tea and really enjoyed it. I'm planning to make a visit again and picking up a few more different flavours. If you have a favourite, please do share!

How has your week been?

Goal #2 - Check!

Another goal I got to check off my list was to unplug from social media for a week. On the first week of January I took a social media vacation from facebook, instagram and twitter. I have to say it was an amazing week to stay offline. I was productive and I felt free (if that makes sense).

I made this a goal because I knew I was spending way too much of my time on these apps/sites that it became habitual. I checked it when I woke up, on the way to work, during work, after work, on the way home from work. You get the idea. It was part of my routine like it was something I had to do to complete my day. It was getting to be too much. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy these social media platforms. But after going on a vacation from it, I've limited my time on them as much as possible. Not gonna lie, it's hard to completely stay away coz I do enjoy the online world and there's tons of information out there that are useful and fun. It's also a good way to stay in touch with friends near & far and meet new ones as well. But to be honest, for me, there were times when it felt overwhelming. So the vacation was good for me.

I'm really glad I did this and I think I may take social media vacations throughout the year. I think it's healthy. It's exactly like needing some time off from work and our daily routine. With all the social media platforms out there, it's sometimes easy to forget about real life. It's kind of like one of those things when too much of a good thing isn't always so good.

Have you gone on a social media vacation?

Weekly Currents 3.0

Once again, TGIF! I love Fridays! When Monday comes, I always look forward to Fridays. It really is the bestest day of the week! :)

This week felt slow and long for me. I was always thinking a day ahead. It started on Tuesday, when I thought it was Wednesday. When Wednesday came, I thought it was Thursday. You get the idea. It was long. So I'm grateful the weekend is finally here.

Sometime last year, I developed a habit of weighing myself almost every morning. The scale was in my bathroom so as I got ready, it was so easy to just get on it and weigh myself. I wouldn't say I was obsessed with the number but I was probably close. About a week or 2 ago, I decided to move the scale to the other bathroom and I haven't weighed myself since. I want to shift my focus from the number on that scale to focusing on body measurements and body fat.

I've been able to knit this week! yay! So thankful I had the time to. I find it so therapeutic I wish I could do it more often. (Did I really just say that? I sound like a grandma! lol)

I'm still trying to make time to read. But I've been doing a lot - going to the gym and preparing my lunches for work the night before, shower and do a bit of chores, that all I can do in the evening is knit. My attention span to read before bed is short, which is why I knit instead. Maybe I'll knit during the week & make time to read on weekends. That sounds like a good idea, doesn't it?

I've gone to the gym twice to run on the treadmill. Hoping I can squeeze in at least a third & maybe a fourth visit (if I really want to) during the weekend.

Daydreaming about visiting New York one day.

How has your week been?

Weekly Currents 2.0

Still trying to figure out a workout schedule. I've been running on a treadmill at the gym once a week so far and I'm trying to go every other day but I don't know why I can't make myself go. I'm hoping next week I'll be able to go regularly.

Been preparing my lunches & snacks for work this week & I'm finding it to be alot of work. It's probably because I'm not used to it plus I'm learning new healthy recipes. I'm hoping I'll get the hang of it soon so I can always have healthy meals at work for the rest of the year.

Popped my zit this morning so now I have a red dot on my face! =(  I've been breaking out quite a bit lately, which is weird coz I never did when I was a teenager. I thought I was lucky to have never gone through it but no... I'm going through it now, as an adult! I think I need to change my skin care products to Neutrogena acne control or something.

Craving knitting & reading time. Preparing lunches the day before takes up a lot of my time & then there's also dinner for that night & then cleaning up the kitchen and before you know it, I look at the clock & it's time to get ready for bed. I'm thinking I need to make bigger meal portions so I can have some leftovers for a day or two & hopefully I'll be able to have some knitting/reading time.

As always - looking forward to the weekend. Is it just me or is the weekend always too short?

Goal #1 - Check!

Kin's Farm Market - where I like to shop for all my fruits & veggies

One of my goals for 2013 was to do a clean & healthy type of cleanse/reboot. I saw a documentary - Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead sometime in December and was inspired to do a similar diet. I made a plan to do a 7-day reboot first week of January. I went on the website and was led to Reboot with Joe. I browsed around and found different reboot plans they had. I read through them & decided I'd do a one week plan & since they didn't have one specifically for 7 days, I chose to follow the 10 day reboot lite plan & made a few tweaks along the way. 

Tweak 1 - some of the recipes had big servings so I had leftovers for 2-3 days.

Tweak 2 - I didn't make every single juice they suggested coz again, lots of leftovers. I got full on half a recipe sometimes so I'd save them for the next day. I only made juices when I ran out & just a note: juicing is a lot of work. There's a lot of prep and clean-up. 

Tweak 3 - I didn't have juice for breakfast, lunch and dinner. They were usually mid-mornings or afternoon snacks.

Tweak 4 - I repeated some recipes coz they were yummy. 

Tweak 5 - On the day I was out at the mall, I ordered fresh juice from the food court. So thankful there's a few juicing places out there now.

My purpose for doing this was to get into the habit of eating clean, healthy, fresh meals so following the plan to the tee wasn't so important (for me). Not once did I feel like I was starving or depriving myself. Most of the recipes were pretty tasty and satisfying. Just to name a few recipes I really liked were - ginger honey soy dressing, cherry cinnamon apple bake, steamed snow peas, green beans and broccoli. 

From doing this reboot, I learned a quite few new yummy plant-based recipes & as a bonus I (unexpectedly) lost a few extra pounds. My view on food is now different. I'm cautious about what I eat, although the week after the reboot, I did indulge a tinnyyy bit. My diet is mostly plant-based with few exceptions once in a while. I try to limit eating processed, packaged foods & also trying with all my might to avoid anything with sugar. In addition to eating healthy, I am trying to get into the habit of exercising regularly. I try to go for a run every other day & on the days I don't run, I follow a workout dvd. 

I am SO glad I did this reboot! I felt great doing it. I learnt new eating habits & am incorporating it into my daily meals. Since this was my first goal that I got to do & checked off, I'm hoping it'll set the tone for the rest of the year with healthy eating

Have you done a cleanse before?

Weekly Currents 1.0

Writing this post on the train to work. It's below zero outside!! freeeeezingggg

Happy the weekend is here. This week was my first full week back at work after the holidays & it felt slightly torturous.

Feeling kinda tired. I'm still trying to get use to the routine of back to work. The holidays were made up of late nights & sleeping in, which I loved!

Trying to eat less processed foods

Figuring out a workout schedule

Feeling like I need a makeover

Thinking 2013 is going to be a good year!

Have an awesome weekend! 

Holiday Recap

This holiday season was different for me coz my side of the family was incomplete. I've gotten used to always having my parents around that not having them around really didn't feel like christmas. But there were parties and things to do that kept me busy & I have pictures that will help tell the story.

I seriously LOVE bellinis. I had this bellini at my husband's work christmas party. It was good!

My friend's son's actual birthday is on christmas eve so she decided to throw a party for him a couple days early. It was held at an indoor beach! I wish I took a picture of the beach but I completely forgot. I had never been to an indoor beach before so seeing it was pretty cool. There were a few other birthday parties going on for kids so I guess it must be a popular venue for kids whose birthdays fall during the winter months. The party was fun with good food & of course yummy cake.

The night before christmas eve, my husband & I joined friends for dinner. We went on a christmas carol dinner boat cruise. I  had a migraine early that afternoon but I had a nice long nap before we had to leave, so that helped a little bit. We docked at Granville Island & cruised around the island for a couple of hours, as we ate dinner. The food was okay. Better than I had expected. It was nice to do something different so I enjoyed it.

Christmas day, my inlaws & my sisters all came over for lunch. Everyone brought in something to share. My sisters made four different types of salads. I made meatless meatballs spaghetti & my mother in law made poppy seed cake. Everything was delicious and pretty healthy. This was our first christmas with no turkey & no ham since I changed my diet in the summer & I'm not the only one that changed their diet. My sisters & my brother in law don't eat meat too! They changed their eating habits after I did & watching a couple documentaries I had recommended. So everyone was happy with christmas lunch. :)

Boxing day (day after christmas) - one of my sisters, Miss S* left for the Philippines. She's going island hopping for 5 weeks! So my other sister, Miss F* & I sent her off to the airport. After dropping off Miss S*, Miss F* & I went to the mall. We mostly window shopped. The mall was pretty packed and  I got tired & dizzy after a couple of hours so we headed home.

Miss F* & I went to see a Cirque du Soleil show. It was Miss F*'s first time & my second. We both really enjoyed it. I especially just loved watching it in a tent instead of a stadium, which we where I watched my first cirque show. It was different in a good way. 

Hubs & I watched this documentary. It was very interesting & made me change my views on food (again). I have made small changes to the way I eat because of this documentary. If you get the chance to, I do recommend watching this.

Weekend - I could feel it in my throat that I was getting sick & I tried so hard to beat it but I lost. miserably. I was sick pretty much first week of the new year.

Here's me w/ Miss S*'s son, Cooper on new years eve. I was in comfy clothes coz I felt like crap. Although I did manage to put on a smile for this picture. 

Although this holiday season felt different for me, it was still a good holiday. I enjoyed spending my time with family & friends.

Was this holiday season different for you? 

What made it different?

Happy New Year!